I have always prided myself on being a good listener. Growing up I never had to be the center of attention, I usually would get cut off in a conversation by one of my siblings that needed to get their word out more than I did. I have and still am fine with that, being a Christian is not about me any way, I like being available to help by just being supportive. However, I think I missed the memo about the recovery center for those that enjoy listening. I didn’t realize how wiped out I could feel in this position. Maybe I just need someone that would be willing to be my listener, someone that will let me talk about whatever is on my heart and not always find a way to fix it, or a story to top what’s going on in my life. Well, at least on this blog I can pretend like people are listening (all 3 of my faithful viewers any way).
A few weeks ago, Pastor Mark, our guest speaker talked about using the tools God has given to us to minister to our friends and family. We are all called to be missionaries, but not all of us are called to do it on the other side of the planet. When I think about my ministry and where that is, it is sort of big. I have 3 co-workers, male PE teachers, and about 250 kids in my classes. I know I may not be called to minister to all of them, but I sure try… not to mention that I am the only girl teacher and have to take care of a locker room all by myself, (about 450-500 girls through out the day) and that really gets overwhelming. Today was sort of an one of those overwhelming days at school, I had a somewhat late night yesterday spending time with a really good friend so I didn’t get as much sleep as I usually do. This morning started with organizing the days activities and deciding what would occur for the week in class. There seems to be one day each week that my students act more odd than usual. Today was that day. I want to be a good teacher, but sometimes I feel as though the kids don’t really care to hear what I have to say or see what I want to teach.
My sixth period class in particular…
It took half the period to get all of the students dressed out in their PE clothes and when we finally were ready I had to escort a few girls back to the locker room because they didn’t get the memo that dressing out wasn’t an option. I came out of the locker room to find a student huddled in the corner in so much pain because they had been attacked by several other students from that period. This student had been punched, and kicked and the kids that did it were supposedly, “just fooling around.” It was so bad that this kid could not get off the ground without sever sharp pains to his side, I called security, and the nurse to get the student help right away. Finally an ambulance and fire truck were brought to the scene to take the student to the hospital. He probably has broken ribs and sever brusing all because I wasn’t there to stop them. Not to mention that I have had a migraine since Saturday that I was finally able to go to the Chiropractor for today. Today’s events made it that much worse. I tried to call my husband to explain what had happed and I couldn’t get a word out without tears coming down my face.
So, this is my group to evangelize to, these students are my kids. Events like today make it very difficult to desire to bring kids of my own into this world. I don’t remember ever having to deal with things like this in school. How can I guarantee that I would be able to protect my own kids when I can’t even protect my students?!?
Maybe tomorrow will be better, thanks for listening…
